Try I May, Try I Might
by Leara Bribage
Summary: I look down, trying to hide my tears. Many a year have I done this—hiding my real emotions in front of people, so that they wouldn't get hurt because of me—but why must I fail now? I breathe, slow and hard. I do it twice, until my heart held no more pain or remorse, like a void, pitch black and empty. Nothing's easy. Try I may, try I might.


**"Try I May, Try I Might"**

By Leara Bribage

_I look down, trying to hide my tears. Many a year have I done this__—__hiding my real emotions in front of people, so that they wouldn't get hurt because of me__—__but why must I fail now? I breathe, slow and hard. I do it twice, until my heart held no more pain or remorse, like a void, pitch black and empty. _

_Nothing's easy._

_Try I may, try I might._

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**[A/N]: **My first fan fiction, this is. But it needn't be my worst. I did my best though this just popped out of nowhere, like most of my stories did. This fanfic is inspired by my favorite **CloTi** writers: _Razzmatazzy_ and _Strifegirl_. :) But this story is for **~duneart**, the one who made the picture of the cover. I genuinely hope you like this. Should any questions/comments/objections/reactions/ clarifications be made, review or PM me, please. Enjoy.

P.S. The song sung by Cloudy is made by me. I might try posting a link to how it might sound like later.

Now, go!

**Disclaimer:** It will and never was, anyway, in my mind and hands that concocted these two admirable characters to pop out into the Final Fantasy world. **Square Enix **owns them completely, but the plot used in this story is only mine. Fair enough? No copyright infringement is needed to gun me down.

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Nothing's easy.

Try I may, try I might.

She looks at me, and her red eyes beckon me to come and free myself. Slowly, she speaks, "Cloud. You can do it. Believe in yourself. If not for you, then do it for me, Aerith, Zack, Marlene, and Denzel."

How can I refuse to such a sweet wish? Should I? No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes.

_You should really get going, Cloud_, Zack says. _Really, _Aerith cajoles.

Try I may, try I might.

It's not easy.

Tifa takes my hand, and then looks at me. She pats my head and smiles. "Come on, chocobo head. Come on."

I look down, trying to hide my tears. Many a year have I done this—hiding my real emotions in front of people, so that they wouldn't get hurt because of me—but why must I fail now? I breathe, slow and hard. I do it twice, until my heart held no more pain or remorse, like a void, pitch black and empty.

She snorts, senses what I'm doing. "Cloud, stop it. You're not doing it. You're locking yourself again. Please? Let me—us—help you." She takes my face and holds it gently to look at her. I try to focus on her eyes, but the guilt forces me to gaze somewhere—at the window.

"Stop running away. Stop looking away. Stop pushing others who care for you away. Stop taking every pain. You've got so much already. You're my hero, but even heroes need someone to save them. Everyone needs saving. Let me save you, this time around," Tifa pleads.

I don't respond, but finally gaze at her. So much blood, so much pain, so much guilt, so many tears, and so much have happened that passed those eyes of crimson. I don't want to cause any more. It's because of me that she's always suffering.

"Words aren't the only ways of communicating, Cloudy. Your eyes tell the stories and emotions behind you. Right now, it's brimming, so I don't know which I should trust to be the one you're feeling," Tifa observes, a few tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

I am and never was good at those. Maybe it's just because of the fear that whatever I'll say might hurt people. Maybe this time, I'm just scared. Or maybe all those years, I was frightened. But Tifa, only Tifa, deserves what I should give to her next.

Abruptly, I embraced her. I didn't know why I did it again. Maybe it's better for the both of us. I didn't want her to see the tears which were already falling from my azure eyes. She didn't want me to see it too. I tightened my hold of her, and let my shirt be wet with her precious drops of water.

For the first time, when we both calmed down, I spoke. "Tifa, you know, there was one lullaby my mother sang to me the day my father died. I'll sing it to you only once, because it's one of the only treasures I can share with you."

She nodded.

I was never a singer, but I knew how to sing. My mother sang it to me every night until I was twelve. She only repeated it when I went home with a pale face and eyes filled with tears. But never again did she hum it, because after that, she passed away.

I'll give this to Tifa because it's only one of the ways I can show her—that I truly love her. But I don't think I really needed to hide it, she knows.

Softly, I started,

"_Hope the stars shine for you, _

_So you'll smile like flowers do._

_Maybe things aren't at its best,_

_And may put you to the test;_

_But let your sadness fade__…__ into the blue." _

I repeated it once more until I heard her tears cease.

"Thanks, Cloud," Tifa said, looking up and smiling at me. "I never knew you sang."

I smiled a little. "Nope. I never told."

She shook her head, and sighed, laying her head on my shoulder. "Nope, you never did."

I relaxed, letting my breaths flow freely. I kissed her head softly and continued holding her.

"Thanks, Tifa," I whispered.

She gazed up at me again and smiled furtively. "You're always welcome, Cloudy." She put her lips on mine gently, and then continued napping on my shoulder.

Try I may, try I might.

Nothing might be easy, but I can solve my problems gradually. Step by step. I'm not alone anymore. I have Tifa, Marlene, and Denzel. Then there's Aerith and Zack up there. There's more.

I needn't tell who.

I just needed to free myself—with their help.

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**[A/N]: **I hope suffering from radiation was worth it, guys. :) Did you have fun?


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